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Tips for First Messages

Writing “hey” is a nice enough gesture, but you might not know that first messages saying just that have an 84% chance of being ignored. That’s why we’ve compiled a list of easy tips so you can send a first message that stands out (in a good way).

Keep it to 40-90 Characters

You don’t have to pour your heart out in message #1. Just a few lines (shorter than a tweet) statistically puts you in the best spot for success.


Be Thoughtful

Just like you would with a potential date in real life, express genuine interest. Lead with a short message that has something to do with an interesting photo or detail you noticed in their profile. Mentioning something you have in common helps, too.


Don’t Be Too Familiar

People aren’t interested in being told how ‘sexy’ they are by a complete stranger and those types of messages aren’t likely to lead to a good first conversation, if they lead to one at all.


Mind Your Grammar

Based on OkCupid data, bad grammar is a turn off. We haven’t tested whether ironic misspellingz count, but trust us: complete, grammatically correct sentences make for better conversation starters.


In Summary: Date Like You Do In Real Life

Be polite, considerate, and gracious. Then click ‘send,’ and leave it up to the fates.