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Non-Binary profile options

At OkCupid, we enthusiastically welcome people of all orientations and gender identities. We have 13 orientation options and 22 gender options available for our members to choose from. When OkCupid expanded the available gender and orientation options, we realized there was a larger conversation taking place. Because dictionary definitions aren’t always able to tell a story, we went to real people to add some color to this evolving language. Here are descriptions from those who claim these words for themselves.

There are three places on the site where you can choose who you are looking for, and how you'd like your profile to be shown: your Profile Details, the Looking For part of your profile, and your Basic Info.

On the web:

Profile Details

To access your profile details, visit your profile on OkCupid and click the green edit pen icon on the right next to your basic information. The first option is for your orientation. If you are straight, bisexual, or gay, you'll be able to choose that option from the drop-down menu. If you'd like to select any other orientation(s), select "more options". 

Once you select options, you'll need to let us know which gender(s) you'd like to see in your Match Search results (not the gender you yourself identify with). This is because you can select multiple orientations (for example "straight" and "questioning" and "heteroflexible") which may not make it immediately clear who you'd like to see on OkCupid. The "I'm interested in" option is not shown to anyone publicly- this is background information that helps us know what kinds of people to show you around the site. 

Additionally, if you choose non-straight options here, you'll be given the option to not see or be seen by straight people anywhere on the site, which will mean that straight people will not see you in Match Search, DoubleTake etc. and that even if they click through on a direct link to your profile, they still won't be able to see any of your profile details or photos. 

From this page, you can also edit your gender(s). From the gender dropdown, select Man, Woman, or More options. 

If you select anything other than "Woman" or "Man", we'll ask you how you want to be included in searches. At the moment, you will need to opt into being included in searches for men or searches for women, even if you don't identify as either gender. 

This is because we want to give you the best chance at finding whoever you’re looking for (and being found by others) on our site. If we, for example, set up the site to only show our agender population to people looking specifically for agender matches, then our agender population would get dismally little attention. There just aren’t that many people out there solely interested in an agender match.

We believe that our community is open to the idea of discovery – that if you happen to catch someone’s eye, even if they wouldn’t think to look for you, it’s possible they may like you. For this reason we want to present you to a large number of potential matches and see who is interested; to do so we need to include you in one of the two largest subsets we have.

Advanced search options in Match Search will still allow matches to explicitly narrow results down to any possible gender(s) of interest, and your profile will always display your identity as you have selected.

Looking For

To publicly show who you're looking for, and to set who you'd like to see in DoubleTake, you'll want to edit the "Looking For" part of your profile, by clicking on the green edit pen icon next to that section on the right side of your profile.

On the app:

From your profile, tap on the green edit pen icon under the Details section.

That will open the details page, from which you can change your orientation(s) and gender(s):

Tap on either pen icon to open the selection page:

To edit your orientation(s), tap on that option:

Make your selections, then tap continue. If you've selected any non-binary orientation(s), you'll then select who you're interested in (please see above in the desktop section for further information about these choices).

To change your listed gender(s), tap on that option:

If you select a non-binary gender, you'll then select whether you'd like to be included in searches for Men or Women (please see above in the desktop section for further information about these choices).

Looking For

To publicly show who you're looking for, and to set who you'd like to see in DoubleTake you'll want to edit the "Looking For" part of your profile, by clicking on the green edit pen icon next to that section at the bottom of your profile on the app:

From there, make your selections:


If you're seeing your profile listed as straight but you selected orientation labels such as lesbian or queer, then you'll want to double-check the "Include me in searches for Men/Women" and the "I'm interested in Men/Women/Everyone" options. We don't want to make any assumptions about your orientation based just on the label(s) you chose, so you'll need to clarify further with us to let us know who you want to see and how you want to be seen. 

Seeing the wrong gender in Match Search
Sometimes when browsing your matches, you'll see photos and profiles that may appear to you to be of the wrong gender (based on your stated preferences). As an example, a straight man looking for women may occasionally see photos of other (apparent) men.
In some cases, these profiles belong to transgender, non-binary, or otherwise non-gender-conforming people, and we will continue to display their profiles according to their own self-identification. It’s absolutely their right to list themselves as the gender with which they most identify, and it’s our right to (emphatically) think that’s a great thing.
That said, in many cases it does look like a simple case of someone confusing the "Include me in searches for" option as asking them who they want to SEE in Match Search, instead of who they want to be seen AS. The most common example of this is for a man to accidentally identify as a woman, when he actually meant to indicate that he is looking for women.
Because we don't display gender in DoubleTake, there may be times where you just see a photo of a man and think our algorithm is messing up, but in these cases it's actually because that person has listed themselves as a woman, so we're including it with other women' profiles.
Our design team is currently taking a look at our signup process to see if there's a way that we can change things so this mistake is harder for these members to make. It’s important to note that we do not moderate gender on profiles at all, even if it appears to be a mistake, because we don't want to make any assumptions about someone's identity. This is NOT a sufficient reason to report a profile to our moderation team, and any such reports will be dismissed.